The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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