what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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