Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
