YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
