this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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