Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
