Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
