You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
