champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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