can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
