when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
