Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
