girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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