I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
