I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
