We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
