yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
