i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
My day in three words: secret purse cake
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
