So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
