Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
