Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
