i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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