I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize