she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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