no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
She bit a glass in half.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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