Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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