No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
why is half of my head shaved?
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