i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
