You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I just gargled with NyQuil
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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