I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
