Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
P.S. I can't hear my feet
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Randomize
