Dual....:-)
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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