She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
