I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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