K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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