she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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