tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
