is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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