Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
