you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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