There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
