I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
