I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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