guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Randomize
