okay pat passed out under dana's car
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
