i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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