I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
