anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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