Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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