so explain again why im purple
no
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
