her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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