my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Dick very happy bro
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
