I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
