I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
