they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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