that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
