9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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