Don't make out with my wife yet
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
