I'm drive I can fine osifer
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
