you guys were way drunker than both of me
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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