if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
