ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
