she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
