maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
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