Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
