Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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