is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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