yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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