people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
