I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
