I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
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