apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
