I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize