wat bout pragnant strippers??
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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