garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
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