I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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