We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
